Shadow of the day.

losing him...

Monday, June 04, 2007

2:34 PM

wokehh..yesterdae i managed to talk wit helmi(my bf) on the phone..GOSH..he woke up at 6.30 pm?? i wonder WHY guys can sleep like babi..serious..i mean..the maximum hours i can sleep is bout 6 hours..nd dat too much sleep will keep me awake all night..hmmphh!! kae2 BACK TO THE STORY..i called him..he sounded BORED as usual..we asked each other usual qns like..have u EATEN? have u taken a SHOWER? nd stuffs like dat..i was quite irritated wit his way of talking..he talk with a so called DRAGGING voice..nd seriously i RELI dont like pple talking in a dragging way cos its very RUDE..dun u tink so?? so wen i start feelin irritated..i start blabbering about..why is he talking dat way?? did i do somethin wrong?? den he said he had NO MOOD..nd i bcame more angry cos whenever im having a BAD MOOD; he always tell not to follow my mood nd since den i did not show my "NO MOOD" way of talking with him..i listen to him wokehh??? nd why cant he do the same thing?? doesnt makes sense cos he's the one who told me not to follow my mood dt much..dis was exactly the thing i told him..guys with EGO..doesnt reli wanna show dat he's wrong but luckily my guy was kind enuf to say dt he duno why he got NO MOOD nd he duno why he's acting dis way..and he said SORRY..yupp he apologised..i try to understnd him..nd i say dt if he reli need the time to COOL OFF..i will giv him the time..nd i said dat i think we shud not be in contact dis few daes jus to let us CHILL OFF a lil bit nd think bout our relationship.. i thought he wud agree but he ended up askin..WHY? den wen we gona be in contact again? i told him SOON nd not to worry..our situation bcame reli tense wen i start to ask him..STUPID ME..wen i start to ask him..

"do u think we shud continue on our relationship?"

ya u can say dat im stupid cos usually guys dont like the topic about breaking up..so he asked me..

"why?..."

nd i replied..

"i feel dat the way u talk to me is already different..dt makes me feel dat u dont love me animore like you do but its unfair to me cos i didnt do anything..i've alwaes been patient with you..haisx..jus answer my qn.."

he replied...
"duno..wad do u tink??"

i replied..
"wen i ask u a qn..JUS ANS!"

he replied..
"err..i tink..NO.."
**blood start rushing thru my veins..tried to remain CALM**
i replied..
"haisx..if dats wad u reli think..den i cannot do anything.."
he replied..
"its not dt i dun love u..its jus dat i feel dt im making u upset almost everyday..nd im making ur life difficult.."
i replied..
"did i say ur making my life difficult?"
he kept QUIET..
nd den i start blabbering out dat he's bein unfair nd are thinking bout himself..he is not thinking bout me..if he's making all the trouble..im the one hu shud leave him ryt?? not he leave me but i chose not to leave him cos im being patient nd its bcos i still love him..nd i kept asking him..WHY U MUST DO DIS TO ME?? tell me wad did i do wrong..he kept QUIET all the way..nd put down the phone just like tat..den i kept calling him..a FEW times but he didnt pick up..but he finally pick up..
i asked;
"why now den u pick up?"
he replied;
"u gave me 34 MISSED CALLS.."
i replied;
"you reli wanna leave me?"
he replied;
"i realised dt i accidentally blabbered it out but ur the one who taught me dt we canot take back what we've already said.."
i replied;
"u shud hav told me at the first place.."
he replied;
"later u say i talk "keling"..hu want to ans??"
i replied;
"pls dun leave me unless i did something wrong..its just not fair..can or not??"
he replied;
"can syg.."

HAHA..den we start talking as usual..talking crap..at the end of the phonecall..he gave me 20 KISSES cos he feels dt he reli owe me alot of apologies..GOSH! I LOVE HIM..haisx but we still agreed not to be in contact with each other till dis sundae..i feel dat he reli need time to CHILL OUT..

todae..gona be goin to my GF's house..syida lerr..goin to her house nd chill out cos im DAMN BORED at home..i noe she wil make me laugh nd relieve my stress cos she's such a JOKER..heheheh..

TOODLES;